This Blog features the musings of Dennis Sidney Martin; Poet, Playwright and Novelist from Baltimore, Maryland. Feel free to browse the content and leave your comments.
Do I hate you?
No. I do.
Am I jealous?
Yes. I’m not.
Can you give me?
No. You can.
Will it hurt?
No. Quite a lot.
Do I want all that is yours?
Yes, I don’t. This much is true.
Will I sweat it just to get it?
Should I, must I be like you?
Tempt me to begrudge your title.
Tease me to the point of shame.
When we both are gone, forgotten,
Who is left to speak our name?
That sweet intangible that
Draws you near, keeps you close,
Makes your heartbeat quicken just a bit
As eye meets blushing eye.
Stripped of ego and of will you
Linger just a bit too long,
Making intent obvious to anyone who passes by.
Lost from logic, miles gone by,
Caring not where footfalls stride.
Want to bask in sweet surrender,
Covers drawn on every side.
Tell me you’ll be mine forever.
Make my mind stop rushing wild.
Heartstrings strumming
So in tune,
So enraptured,
So beguiled.
Here forever.
Gone for good.
Rising to survive the flood of
Circumstance, happenstance.
Sloughing off the fleeting chance
To keep a moment close to heart,
Clinging hope to never part.
Sprinkling stardust in a quest
To guide the trailing fleet to rest.
Spinning circles interlock to
Wind the never-ending clock,
Set the spring to overload,
Slide the tic into the tock.
Faithful watchers of the keep.
Tired eyes that never sleep.
Praying for a Deity.
Slaves to perpetuity.
I’m looking forward to growing old,
As strange as it may seem.
When faced with the alternative
It gives me quite a chill.
Gumming meals and spinning wheels,
Although vicariously,
Is oh so far superior to
Lying lifeless, cold and still.
Age is more a state of mind
Than clocked by calendar,
Creeping by at lightning speed
To wonder where it’s gone.
Melancholy musings muddle
Multi-facet memories
As plaintive pipers, sweetly strumming,
Play a favorite song.
Looking back with sweet regret,
Recapturing the gold.
Tilting windmills in my lusty dreams
When I grow old.
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We could run a marathon
And never leave the sweet confines
Of our front yard. It wasn’t hard
To scale the walls of Everest.
Breathlessly encountering
Unordinary circumstance
As though a challenge had been issued
From an unexpected foe.
We would go from dawn to dusk,
And then play hard into the night.
Never thinking of tomorrow
As we went about our quest.
Beaches stormed armed fully
With a treasure trove of lilting laughter.
Wanting naught for endless folly,
Waiting not the ebb and flow.
And love was easy, falling in
Or out before each song was sung.
Riding rockets to the moon was possible
When we were young.
Blessings fall to those in need.
Even in the darkest night
A single star may lead the way
As sinners pray to unseen Host.
Shielded from a tragic fate
May you know the healing light
That brings you peace, gives you feast
When hope, it seems, is all but lost.
There will be a time for praise.
Though you’re tempted with denial,
May you revel in the undemanding gaze
For yet a while.
May your heart be ever free
To find and fill with loving care.
Open arms to charity to
Take you flying anywhere.
Countless blessings fill your life,
Many dreams come true.
Peaceful when the day is done.
This is my wish for you.
The world could be such
A wondrous garden
Filled with the magic of
Lilly and rose.
Lush green countryside
High on a cloud where
Benevolent shepherds
Tend gently their flock.
White-walled castles of
Fanciful treasure,
Princes and princesses
To idolize.
Seas of adventure to
Offer up challenge for
Brave souls with lofty goals
Set in their heads.
So sad reality,
Tragic to see,
When I imagine what
The world be. could
Stepping up and stepping out
Of the bottomless black hole
Drenched in self-doubt.
Prancing and posturing,
Best foot forward,
Battling pretenses
Battered about.
Listening lightly to
Whimsical wishes,
Boisterous banter
Buffets my brain.
Crowded cotillions of
Dolls dressed in merriment,
Paltry pretensions of
Meaningless mutter.
Why should I play
Your best foot game?
Time spent in agony.
Little to gain.
Would you like some tea?
Oh, here! Let me pour.
Would that be one lump or two?
Come sit for a while.
Won’t you tell me a story,
A fable, a nursery rhyme?
Any one will do.
Later we’ll journey to lands
Far and distant,
Rescue a maiden,
Slay a dragon – or two.
I can go anywhere,
Be anyone, do anything
As long as there’s you.
Don’t know why
Or even when or where or
How it came about.
Didn’t see it in creation.
Came to life all on its own.
Broke the flow of concentration.
Shifted gleefulness to angst.
Played a game of woeful kinship
On a spirit wild and free.
Suddenly the world is nightfall,
Shadows lurk in apparition.
Dark foreboding,
Desperate silence
Searching, listening for the call.
Turning this way, that way,
Which way.
Each direction so unsure.
Wanting for a guiding angel.
Waiting for the next footfall.
I'll be... You be... Let's be someone,
Anyone but who we are.
Made up stories,
Nursery Rhymes,
Fireman, teacher, circus clown.
I'll be cashier. You be customer.
"May I take your order, please?"
Rescue Heroes saving victims,
Pulling from the murky depths
With length of rope found safely hidden
Just for such emergencies.
Chopper Coppers chasing speeders.
Call for back up.
Blast off to a new dimension,
Aliens and robots threaten,
Traversing the universe to
Make it safe for all mankind.
Bolds adventures,
Grand enchantment,
Hearty struggle to survive.
Who will I be... you be... let's be?
What a joy to be just five.
Imagine that today’s the day
Your every wish comes true.
Those hopes that kept on being dashed
Have finally met fruition.
That age old dream of peace on Earth
Become reality,
Faith fulfilled and failure bashed
Beyond all recognition.
Tell me, where do you go from here?
Are you complete? Immortal?
Are there more wishes beyond perfect?
Nirvana having lit,
Is secular contentment the
Only thing that matters?
Are you resigned to rest?
Let imagination quit?
Sorry. Doesn’t work that way.
Must don a different hat.
Another day, another distant dream.
Imagine that.
We’re all familiar with the phrase
About falling off a horse.
I’m here to tell you there’s a lot of truth
To that old anecdote. In fact, the human learning curve
Would still be lagging far behind
If such a basic truism
Had failed to make it on the boat.
Failure is not measured by the
Times your fanny hits the ground.
No one gets it right the very
First time we are put upon.
Time to check your spurs, tilt your hat
And set your angled jaw
With brash determination.
Go on…. Climb back on.
Tempest around me,
Reach for control.
Something to ground me
Where I can take hold.
Challenge confounds me.
I must be bold.
Nuances drown me
Under their hold.
Ghost voices hound me
Darker than coal.
Dread as they pound me
Deep in my soul.
Then the light found me
Down in the hole.
Freed and unbound me,
Paying my toll.
Whispers surround me,
Angels, I’m told.
Lifting me, putting me
Back in control.
Is that blasted thing broken again?
It seems we just fixed it a short time ago.
Go get the pliers, the hammer and wrench.
Oh heck! Just bring the whole toolbox this time.
We’ll see what we missed on the last repair.
Tweak it and tune it up just like a pro.
Clean it and glean it til it shines like gold
With nary a hint or a speckle of grime.
Worst case scenario, we fall short,
Our futile efforts fail to convert.
Then we need look for an alternate means
For achieving the goal to which we aspire.
But you and I are a crafty lot,
Not afraid to go diving in dirt.
Fearless, undaunted we rake through the muck,
Knowing the prize that can rise from the mire.
We never know the tools we possess
Til challenge steps up and we call him a liar.
You’re a pip! You know that?
Putting all the weight on me as if
My shoulders easily can sore endure
The heavy load.
Possibly you’re trying hard
To break my spirit with your will.
Then again, you’re probably
Just being you, you helpless toad.
Take the burdens, pile them on.
Make the most of my contrition.
Rake my will til I submit
Forsaking hope of recompense.
Let me yield to your agenda,
Jet your burdens far away,
Get you to a safer haven,
Set the clock to common sense.
Put your frazzled mind at ease.
I will save you once again.
All your problems piled on.
Such a price to call you friend.
Such a prissy, sissy missy
Pattering, prattering all day long.
Light foot prancing, always dancing,
Making your master sing your song.
Just a fluffy little fru fru.
Nervous Nellie, take a pill.
Pompous with your pompadour.
Looking at you makes me ill.
When you speak, instead of warning,
Only an annoying whine.
All I want to tell you is to
Stick it where the sun don’t shine.
Some may say that you’re a sweet
And precious little cuddle-bug.
But it would suit me to a tee
To never see your fru fru mug.
Oh, mythical, mystical creature,
Daughter of whimsy born on the wind.
Why have you banished yourself to seclusion?
Why have you chosen to shed your wings?
Yours was a time that begged of a challenge,
Quest for the Grail, a fight to the end.
No second-guessing or thoughts of collusion.
Giving no quarter, not even to kings.
Higher than mountaintops you soared with eagles,
Holding dominion o’er all that you see.
Taking at will to fulfill your desire,
Fearing no predator or enemy.
But fate was not kind to your wheel of fortune.
Your day was challenged, time ran its course
Leaving your storyline sadly unfinished,
Leaving your grieving heart filled with remorse.
But seriously, what is really important to you?
When you’re home at the end of your busy day,
After fighting the wars of your daily trade,
Do you listen with interest to the evening news?
Do you vegetate til you slowly fade
To oblivious numbness? Blocking it out,
Hoping the world is a better place
Than the one portrayed. You want to shout
At the phantom, if you could find his face.
Hard to say what is truly important.
Always so much going on,
So bathed in mediocrity
You fail to see your Rubicon.
Time to find the larger picture,
Get the check and pony up.
Will you drink the loser’s lager,
Or sip champagne from the winner’s cup?
I am just a visitor
Awaiting fate as yet unknown.
Wandering through time and space
Searching for a comfort zone.
Walking on her solid surface,
Taking in her pristine air,
Basking in her golden sunlight,
Nourished by her bounty fare.
Nesting by her deep blue waters
In a land diversified
By creatures large to miniscule,
Trying gently to abide.
Clinging close to nature’s treasure,
Keeping balance in my wake.
Knowing to replace its measure,
As it is not mine to take.
I will keep my sacred promise
Not to take more than my share.
For I am just a visitor
Sampling this planet’s ware.
Weep no more, oh weepless one.
You’ve no reason to feel shame
If others found you circumspect
Without foundation to their claim.
You were strident in your way
To keep your virtue all in tact.
Staunch and stoic in your views,
No regret, no looking back.
When the world called you to task
You refused their wild demands,
Holding on and holding fast
As they passed you hand to hand.
Even as the noose was placed
Upon your alabaster skin
You were proud to sing out loud,
Wouldn’t let the bastards win.
And you’ve paid. Yes, dearly so.
All your senses put upon.
But your will was never broken.
In the end, you won.
Oomph! Hey! Watch it!
What’s wrong with you?
You got a burr up your bun, or what?
Stop trying to push your way ahead.
The rest of us have to wait our turn, so
Why not you? You selfish freak.
Yeah, it’s you I’m talking to.
Hey! Watch that, buddy.
You’re outta line.
Don’t make me get physical.
Ungh! Hey! Stop! That hurt a lot.
Ooof! Man! What’s the matter with you?
Get off!
Have you gone nuts, or what?
Ouch! Now look! That really hurt!
Oh yeah! So what?
Well, same to you.
I’d get up and pound you, but
I think I might have broken something.
Yes indeed.
My injuries may have saved your ass,
But now I guess we’ll never know.
They seem to arrive at the oddest of times,
Inopportune moments their specialty,
Creeping and riding by millimeter
Until they find their resting place.
One never knows until standing erect
The full effect or to what degree.
By then it’s too late to alter your fate
Or to hide the blush upon your face.
You must adjust, must set things right
Before you take another step.
They all will know it anyway.
They’ll see discomfort in your stride.
You try your best to be discrete,
But none are so adept
That we can cover such a move
With any semblance of pride.
Might as well admit the truth.
Wedgies happen all the time.
Best to give a tug and heave.
After all, it’s not a crime.
I guess it all began with the caveman
Developing skills meant to keep him alive.
A rock or a club or the strength of his hands,
Anything’s fair if it helps him survive.
Then he found ways to take the offensive,
First stick, then stone, then metallic ore.
The shaping of spears and arrows and slings,
The packs and the tribes were soon making war.
Then in a flash, a new wave of terror.
A spark ignites powder and Hell is released
On an unsuspecting humankind
With a fury that will never cease.
The waves of destruction keep pounding the shore
With creative minds finding new ways to kill.
Leaving the battlefields strewn with ashes,
Leaving our prodigy to pay the bill.
We’ve been destroying ourselves since creation
Though truth is as close as our own backyard.
We never paused to consider the question.
Destruction? That’s easy.
Creation is hard.
You fiddle while you diddle as
You piddle with your feet.
Marking time, making rhyme,
Dilly-bopping on your way.
Finding action in the traction
In the ground beneath your feet,
As the mumble and the rumble
Meet the jumble of the day.
Terrifying, mystifying,
Evil-eying circumstance
Turns to muddle in a puddle
As you cuddle in the dark.
Wistful melancholy thinking
Edges you toward the brinking
As your ship is slowly sinking
And you fail to hit the mark.
But the tide keeps slowly turning
Casting doubt upon the yearning,
Giving way to seeds of learning
That can save you from defeat.
And you keep the rhythm going,
Ever-growing, ever flowing,
Moving forward without knowing
As you’re walking to the beat.
